


Ranidaphobia

by Crafty_Cosplayz1



Series: Hetalia [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crafty_Cosplayz1/pseuds/Crafty_Cosplayz1
Summary: A crackfic I wrote after my friend and I made a weird prompt at 9:15pm.England vs frogs (screaming frogs) and the countries have to save him. I know it’s weird but it’s an interesting ideas.This will include inside jokes that I can explain in notes or respond to comments if you ask.My friend does edit this and is going to write a different one with the same plot. Maybe if they will allow it I could post theirs with it so you can see the differences.
Series: Hetalia [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603333
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Every country knew England was going crazy, but his recent obsession brought the final nail in the coffin. “England look we get it your old and your going crazy, but we all know your problem with ‘screaming frogs’ isn’t real” America said with a gentle grip on England’s shoulders. 

“But I’m not lying! What do I need to do to make you believe me?!” England said with anger slowly rising in his voice. “Just let it go Angleterre. Maybe we should get your head checked your hallucinating” a French accent cut off the American before he could say anything more. 

“Fine! If you two won’t help me I will find somebody who will!” England said standing up from his spot in the meeting room and leaving. The meeting had been over for some time now, and before France, America, and Canada could leave England asked them if they could talk. 

“He is going insane” America said mentally facepalming at England’s story. “I don’t know he sounded pretty freaked out maybe we should go check on him.” Canada broke through the silence. “Maybe. I still think we should get his head checked.” 

——-

England huffed as he walked throughthe poring rain to the boat yards. The meeting had been in France so England had to catch a ferry home. He was walking in a quick pace not looking behind him after hearing the first high-pitched screech. 

He was shaking after five more followed the first. Honestly he was terrified. The first day this started to happen England thought it was weird of course he did. Being followed by a group of screaming frogs isn’t normal after all, but he thought it would go away. Perhaps he angered the frogs somehow and they wanted to scream at him he had thought the first day. 

But when it happened the next day and the next day he began to get suspicious. After the fifth week of the frogs following him he figured they wouldn’t follow him into France. Oh how wrong he was. 

He was terrified of the frogs after being cornered during the forth week, and during the encounter the frogs began to change their forms. It was terrifying, and when they finished changing their forms they started grabbing at him before he fought tooth and nail to get away. They were olive skinned either having dark brown or dirty blonde hair accompanied by bright green eyes that could stare into the soul. He would have seen more, but he was in such a rush he doubted he could pick them out from a group.

Any longer of a look would have resulted in him getting him caught. He didn’t want to know what would become of him if they got ahold of him. England shook the thoughts away as he bought a ticket and boarded the final ferry of the day. He went and took a seat on the covered area of the ferry. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was the day of the next world meeting. Everyone was ready to begin although they had to wait because a certain ‘insane’ country had yet to arrive. “America do you know where England is, he’s usually here by now” A harsh German accent cut through the silence at the exact moment America’s phone went off. 

Pulling out his phone America saw England’s contact asking to video chat. Pressing the button to answer the quiet meeting room was filled with high-pitched screams. “See now you have proof these damned frogs exist” England stated angrily into the phone. Before America could respond England pressed his phone against his front room window. 

“Holy cow that’s a lot of frogs!” America exclaimed getting everyone’s attention and people begin crowding around the phone. “And they wo-“ before England could finish a frog slammed into the glass of the window making England screech a bit before regaining his composure. “And they won’t leave. They have been here for three days. I finally swallowed my pride and am humbly asking for a-assistance?... honestly I don’t even know anymore.” England said as America stifled a laugh. 

“Your scared of the frogs?” America asked slightly laughing. England’s face flushed “yes I’m scarred of the frogs that have followed me everywhere I have gone for the past two months!” He blurted it outquickly.America laughed quickly “don’t laugh at me their viscou-!?” England was cut of by his window shattering. “They’ve broken into my house!” England screamed as the high-pitched screams of frogs became louder before England rushed out of the room. 

Getting into his dinning room England tightly shut the door behind him. The door shook violently as England pressed himself against it to hold it shut. It was working unsurprisingly “see now get over here before I have to tell you again!” England yelled before the door practically turning to splinters as it was busted down around him. 

England muttered a few curses before booking it picking up and throwing chairs to slow down the frogs. The only thing it resulted in was chips of wood laying on the floor. The countries who were watching were in shock. 

England continued to run through his house until he hit a wall. “Crap” England said going to turn to run another direction, but upon turning around he and all the watching countries spotted the army of frogs surrounding him. All of them were screaming. 

When the frogs stopped screaming bunches began jumping forward onto the scared Brit. One frog knocked the phone out it his hand and just started angrily into the camera while England screaming at the army of frogs was the only sound that could be heard. The frog screamed into the phone before the call disconnected.

The countries looked at each other in shock. “I guess we will meet another time it’s seems England needs assistance” Germany called getting up from his chair many following after him. 

———

“Get off of me” england yelled as more frogs began jumping onto him after he hit the initial ones off of him. He was so preoccupied with the ones covering him that he never noticed the other frogs changing forms. When he did notice it wasalready too late. Arms roughly covered his mouth from behind. He was beginning to wrestle out of the hold when two more hugged him tightly from behind. 

Everything faded out before he could fight off the attacks any longer.


	3. Chapter 3

When England woke up next the frogs had taken him somewhere. His hands were roughly bound behind him with a cloth covering his mouth silencing his curses. He was slung over a humanoid creatures shoulder. They were deep into the woods and came across a small cover of leaves. Setting england down the frogs moved to uncover the leaves revealing the top of a well cover. One of the humanoids opened it revealing a living area. The second humanoid jumped down before holding his hands upwards. England was pushed forward falling into the arms of the second humanoid as the other frogs pulled inside. 

They were in a large room with two thrones in the far end of the room. The taller one he presumed was for the male ruler as he saw a male sitting in the throne. The male had auburn colored hair with bleach blonde roots. He was wearing a royal purple cloak with tight black pants and a white button up shirt. The man shifted the golden crown on his head before standing his boots clicked softly as he did. 

“You’ve finally brought him?” The male asked his voice deeper than expected, and was around the same pitch of Germany’s. He was set on the floor as the humanoid frogs bowed kneeled before the male. “You may go” the male waved his hand as the humanoids nodded getting up and quickly leaving. 

The male crouched before him roughly grabbing his chin and moving his face around looking at every crevice. “You know when my subjects said they found a pretty Queen for me they meant it. Your beauty is more astonishing in person than from the words my subjects have left me to fill in.” The male said slowly untying the cloth around England’s mouth. 

The male pulled the cloth away from England throwing it aside before pulling England’s head to rest on his chest. England was so frozen in fear of what a retaliation might bring just sat there as he was carefully cut free of his bindings. 

When the man was finished he picked England up like he was some kind of princess. England finally found his voice after being pulled from his thoughts. “Put me down you wanker!” He yelled starting to wrestle out of the grip before tightened on him and he was silenced by a harsh glare. “You will not speak to me in such a manner.” The words were enough to shut England up.

The male continued to walk until he came across a room hitting his foot on the door it opened. “Please have this rid of the outside world and returned to my chambers when your done with him.” The male said before setting England down before a pair of women. Their dark brown hair was braided up into crowns across their heads, with bright light green eyes, and fair olive skin. They wore tan blouses, black floor length walking skirts, and heeled shoes. It was as if they were strait out of the 1890s. The women nodded signaling the male to leave. After he was gone they grabbed him and began undressing him before he shook them off and pulled his closed tighter around him.

——-

England sighed angrily as he was walked towards a room. He wouldn’t go into the room no matter what after it was referred to as the males chambers. The women had enough with his protest and pushed him inside in his embarrassing clothes. 

He had been forced to wear a tan button up shirt tied closed at the collar with a green ribbon, and a brown waist coat was tightly pulled onto him. He had been forced into black puffy jeans with matching boot heels. To say he hated how he looked was an understatement, but he felt very nostalgic wearing the old Victorian style clothes.

Looking around he saw the male again sitting at his desk. He turned at the sound of the door and spotted England arms crossed and annoyed. The male smirked before walking to his dresser and throwing him a white shirt. “When I said to return you I meant in more fitting clothes” the male said as he began unbuttoning the shirt before England pressed his hands away in favor of doing it himself. 

After he was more ‘properly’ dressed in the new white shirt. The color was probably a show of social status. The male pushed him into sitting down. “Now I want you to listen because I don’t like to repeat myself. You will address me as William, and You will only leave this room with me or a guard.” Willam said before before walking towards the entrance. “Now I have to go and attend to planning. I trust that you won’t leave. Especially with the guards I will have positioned outside. Goodbye Arthur..” Willam Informed before closing the door to the room the sound of a lock clicking into place. 

England sighed angrily as he flopped backwards onto the bed. “These wankers obviously haven’t had to deal with an English spy” England mumbled to himself and began to wonder how he would get himself out of his current situation.


	4. Chapter 4

Upon arriving to England’s house the countries realized England wasn’t there very quickly. Though a small worn piece of paper was. Opening it everyone saw the neatly written note ‘bring Arthur Kirkland to my presence~W’. It was written in the form of Calligraphy with black ink.

“I’d say the frogs have him da. That’s something I never thought would leave my mouth.” Russia commented. Every one reluctantly had to agree. Today was going to be the strangest day of any of their lives. 

Italy ran into the room pulling them from the discussion. He was holding a frog that was screeching. “Wow! where’d ya find that?!” America yelled. It was not surprising the frog was huge it easily was the size of both Italy’s hands. “Somebody take it please!” Italy pleaded before Canada grabbed it out of his hands. “Thank you” Italy practically cried with relief as the other axis members finally entered the room.

“Maybe it knows where they took him” France suggested. “Alright. Let’s interrogate this frog!” America said seriously before laughing at how absurd the situation was. When America finished laughing he got serious. 

Pulling out a gun America painted it at the frog. “Tell us what you know!” America yelled before the frog screamed again and began to glow. Canada was forced to set the frog down as it’s form began to change. 

When the glow was gone a olive skinned male with braided brown hair and green eyes stood there. He had his hands up as America pointed his gun at him. “Wha- how-who?!” America sputtered on his words. “I can’t exactly talk as a frog” was the boys only response. 

“Well we’re have you taken England” America said regaining what composure he had left. “Who?” Asked the boy “Arthur” America corrected himself. “Oh him they took him back to the cover” the boy answered “the cover?” Canada asked from behind them. “It’s in the woods it’s were us frogs live. If you need to I can show you the way.” The boy said. “That would be preferable” Germany added behind to boy. 

“Well it takes a while to get there so we need to leave” the boy said starting to walk towards the front door. The countries followed closely after.


	5. Chapter 5

After about three and a half hours of walking the countries who had offered their assistance found themselves in the woods. They had been following the brown hair boy since he left England’s house. “We are almost at the cover at just a few minutes ahead.” The boy said.   
“England better appreciate our help for this” America mumbled. “I’m sure he will America he probably will be glad somebody actually came to help him in the first place after we all called him crazy.” Germany said from behind America. “He will probably steer clear of France for a while though” Canada added getting America to laugh and France to act offended.   
The boy stopped walking in front of a cover of leaves. “The throne room is behind this opening so I would be prepared to fight” the boy said beginning to move the leaves. “Is there like a back entrance where we could go through?” Canada asked quietly “no we don’t like guarding multiple entrances. Beside the only other way out is by going further underground, and most don’t make it going that way” the boy said continuing to move the leaves away.   
As he lifted the well cover away. “Here, just go in.” The boy said pointing into the well hole. “You think we are stupid da” Russia said looking towards the boy wielding his pipe. The boy wore a bored expression at the silent threat. “I can go first if it will make you ‘feel better’.” The boy responded in a sarcastic tone making air quotes.   
America kinda laughed as Russia stared at the boy dumbfounded. The boy moved to jump down into the hole. After the boy disappeared Russia smacked America on the back of the head as he laughed “Ow! Ok! Ok!” America yelped out.   
After a few seconds and nothing happening inside the hole the others started to file in. Landing in the hole they noticed the large room located just underground. A large throne lactated in the far end of the room.   
It was empty. The only things occupying the room was the countries and the boy. “Boy, where do we go?” Germany said unsure of what to call the boy. “It’s Zackery, but this way” Zackery began to walk towards an opening in the hall.   
Looking out the doorway there were practically an army down here. From servants to soldiers they were everywhere. “They most likely took him to the kings quarters, or to the prison a floor lower” Zackery said in a low whisper.   
“Either has equal security maybe more than usual” Zackery added before turning to face the others. “We could split up and look in both locations” Germany said getting a few nods. “Okay, former axis will search the prison, and former allies will search the kings quarters.” Germany stated getting approved by everyone.   
“I can lead you to the prison, but I can point you in the direction of the kings quarters.” Zackery said in a quick way. After nobody responded he pointed down the hallway behind them. “If you go that way when you reach a corner you should see 15 doors. The kings quarters is the 6th door from the left.” Zackery said before walking into the hallway heading the opposite way. “Prison is this way” He said before walking off. 

———-

England looked around the room. The heels he had been forced into clicked loudly as he looked for any kind of exit or weapon. The closest thing he had found for either was a metal candle holder.   
Cursing under his breath england turned towards the door. There would be guards outside the door keeping him there, and he wouldn’t even see them unless he got past the locked door.  
Him getting hurt wasn’t a problem either so he quickly devised a plan. It was terrible, but it better than being forced to become the queen to some frogs.   
He stood back from the door before rushing up and slamming his shoulder into the door. The door shook under the pressure, and England repeated the action until the door was opened. The sudden loss of the door caused him the fall onto his face.   
Quickly he scrambled into his feet and began running down the hall. He didn’t remember which way he had come from, but he knew it was crowded with people who would be more than willing to catch him.   
Judging by the thundering footsteps following behind him he knew the guards were running after him. The hall seemed longer than it used to. “Probably ran the wrong way” england cursed.   
He made it to the end of the hallway before slamming into somebody. Immediately he took a swing with the candle holder when he caught his balance. His candle holder missed causing him to spin slightly from the way he had swung. “dude calm down!” The voice caused england to look at the ‘attacker’.   
It was America. “Oh it’s you” England almost spat out. “Wow what a warm welcome...” France said pulling England by the arm away from the guards quickly catching up. Once he did so he got a good look at what england was wearing and laughed. “Don’t laugh at me!” England yelled as he followed France back towards the exit the others following quickly.  
“Its hard not to laugh. You look like a giraffe taking its first steps.” France retorted “well I’m sorry that I’m not used to wearing heels!” England yelled angrily.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they made it to the throne room the big problem arose. Multiple people were in the throne room. Guards, servants, and William. The guards who were following them had caught up as well.  
“Looks like we found a fight after all” America sighed as he began to get ready for the incoming combat. 

———-

The fight had taken forever with England awkwardly getting pushed around by the people with actual weapons. Although he did manage to take out a guard with a hit to he neck, and a kick to the shins.   
“We should get going before anyone else shows up” Canada said meekly from beside Russia. “Yes I agree” Russia responded to Canada not waiting for anybody’s response as he walked over to the exit.   
“What about the others? Germany, Italy, and japan aren’t back yet we can’t leave them.” America interjected. Everyone seemed to collectively grumble.   
Although before anybody could move to do anything the mentioned group rushed into the room. “Hmmm... that was a coincidence.” America muttered as the group began moving to the exit. England was pushed into the ladder rougher than he would have liked in heels.   
He managed to climb to the top though.   
———   
“Well that could have been avoided” russia remarked swiftly. England grumbled under his breath before answering “says the one who wasn’t kidnapped.” They all seemed to agree with that, because nobody said anything else.


	7. Epilogue

England sighed from his spot at the meeting table. He felt a bit embarrassed to be there after yesterday’s ‘problem that shall not be spoken of.’ For once America blabbering on and on about his imperial measurement system was the greatest there ever was, was a pleasant part of the meeting.  
He supposed his was nicer then living out the rest of his days as the queen of the frogs. “Angleterre I’m surprised you haven’t told America to shut up” the smell of wine hit his nose. He grumbled, of course one frog still remained. As he always did.   
“What do you say about you and I after the meeting? I have some rum and wine in my room, just for the two of us~” shaking off the arm on his shoulders england growled. “Francis your drunk”


End file.
